What is natural order? 

What is forbidden by gods?

Who has dictated the terms,

For what is right and wrong?

Hiding behind the veil of convention

My desires and longings,

They have always prevailed.

Fighting my own instincts

I have tried so hard to fit in

To change myself and be the "normal"

With years of lies and pretense

I am now my own dark secret

Looked down upon by society

Living in shame, fear and torment

Torturing myself each day,

My own soul I lament.

My kind, they treat with disgust

My intentions they no longer trust.

Voices before me have screamed

In futile effort, lost their own esteem.

Cries were loud but one paid no heed

It is not an illness to find a cure for,

Not a crime to be shunned by people

Neither is a sin to repent

How long before they understand?

Why do I have to fight for,

My place and for acceptance?

I too belong to the clan

Even if I do not fancy a man.

In search of my tribe 

And a place to call home.

I want to leave, for now

If things ever turn around

And I do not know how

I shall return back someday

When they have a name

For my kind and who I am.

And treat me with no shame

Where my true self will find an expression,

To conform and to put on a mask,

I shall no longer have a reason.