Scared and scarred

Once she asked me, what I was scared of, As I asked her to walk me down to my home. I said nothing, I just don't want to be alone. Alone in this dark and lonely road, with not a single living soul. But time changes, yet again it didn't for me. Again it's dark and lonely and I am alone. I regret not asking mom to come and get me home. As minutes before it was lonely but there was light. Lights as we all have outside our homes.

But suddenly as I step in, it's dark again And the battery of my smartphone is dead. If I see a soul walking in the dark and is far, I run. And if not so far, I freeze, I pray hard for him to go afar as I go numb. No, no, no I am not afraid of dead souls As I have watched horror movies all night long. Cats and dogs? No, they don't bother you without your fault. I am scared of beings, the living human beings. They are the biggest horror I will ever have, As they can be dreadful at times.

Why? Because I have experienced it at the little age of 8. As I was going back home from the nearby candy store, He approached and asked if I knew the yellow house. I said "I don't know as I don't go much out, But still, I remember one in the next right turn". "Okay, thanks but can you show it to me, as I am new". Without a single thought, I lead him towards that yellow house.

When he held my hand, I didn't bother, The elders are supposed to hold the hand of their daughters. But then he puts his hand inside my top, As if he was looking for something bosom, Which fortunately at that time I didn't get. And he did not stop, he took my hand To his pouchless pocket, into his manhood socket. Unaware of any manly physique, I wonder what is going on? And Why? He rubbed my chest and moved my hand. Until I said " that's the yellow house", and I ran.

I ran fast and hard, I didn't know what that was. But I washed my hands again and again. It felt wrong and it was gross. I just puked and couldn't talk. What to say? How to say? Whom to say? Will I be punished for doing something like that. With all those in mind, I never talked about it to anyone at all. Until I knew it wasn't my fault, and it was not any time soon, With many years, of unreasonable and groundless hate, For myself for walking in the dark all solely so late. Even after a decade and a half later it scares me and bothers.

But now all I do is thank God, as it could have gone worse. As all the things I hear now, I wonder how will they come out of their horror. I pray a lot, for some memories to be lost And more awareness about the subject to be taught.

-miraculously miracle ✨

This was a real incident in the life of someone I know.

#abuse #inappropriate #touch #scared #scarred #sex #education #importance #psyched #people #rapeculture