LETTER TO SELF

Dear Karanika,

Look what you've done to yourself. You've turned yourself into a complete mess, a mess which looks fine from the top of the hill but sucks when you look from the valley. I have known you for fourteen years, 10 months and three days now. And I know you were never like what you are at present. Darling, I know you are in pain and there's no one for you. I know it sucks when you feel lonely in the middle of the croud. But don't you ever dare to think that you're alone. I would turn against the whole world just to be with you. For you are the only one I have and I am the only one you have. I know you are struggling to not give up. I know you are trying hard to exist. I know how bad it hurts. Trust me, I do. I know how it feels to cry in bathroom with tap on so that no one out would know you're crying. I know how it feels to cover your mouth with the hand at night so that your mother doesn't know you're crying. I know how it feels having a thousand wounds in the heart and still smiling. But please don't give up. Karanika, you are the best and you are perfect. There's no one like you and there can never be. I love you and I always want you to smile.

With love,

Karanika.